My wife Lisa (Fertility Match Co-Founder) has given birth to two sets of twins as a gestational surrogate mother. These have been wonderful journeys for our family as well as for us as a couple. She has asked me to share my advice on this experience…so here goes:
As a Couple
Partners need to have a strong relationship to go through an experience like this. When my wife explained to me her desire to help others who were unable to have children become parents, I thought that was a wonderful thing she wanted to do. I supported her 100% through both of her surrogacies. There will be ups and downs, just like in other areas of life; But if you love and support each other and have a strong relationship this can be one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have.
Surrogacy is a Commitment for Both of You
It is a good idea to be prepared for the many appointments with doctors, lawyers as well as meeting with the intended parents. Sometimes these appointments and meetings are out of town. Your wife’s body will need to be prepared prior to having the embryo(s) transferred by taking medications to thicken her uterus lining for transfer. In our case, she needed to have progesterone injections every day for 3 months starting before the transfer and continuing for three months in to it. It was difficult for her to administer the injections herself, so I did it every day. This was honestly one of the hardest things to do since it was sometimes an unpleasant experience for her.
Why it’s all Worth it
You form new and special relationships as you take the journey together with the intended parents. It’s a relationship unlike any other. There is no better feeling than seeing the joy in the faces of the parents as they have experiences along the journey: seeing their babies through ultrasound, feeling the babies move for the first time, hearing their heartbeats. The most rewarding moment for me was watching our intended parents welcome their children into the world. We got to see them hold their babies for the first time after wondering if that dream would ever come true. Helping to grow a family through surrogacy is one of the most rewarding experiences you could ever have.