It’s a question we do get asked often: should I tell my child they were conceived with a donor egg? The short answer: yes. At Fertility Match, we strongly believe that you should always tell your child that they were conceived through egg donation. There are so many reasons – medical, ethical, logical, and practical – that you should tell your child the truth. We’ll cover a few in this post, but one of our Fertility Consultants is always available to chat in depth.
Honestly, one of the biggest reasons to tell your child about the realities of their conceptions is really simple: it’s inevitably going to come out anyways. With services like ancestry.ca and 23andMe, more and more people are releasing their DNA information to the world and finding genetic relatives they never knew – or were never told – they had. In the past, it was possible to keep adoptions and family histories secret enough that no one would ask questions, but with technology today that just isn’t realistic.
Not only do these services now exist, sometimes there are activities in school that might address your child’s familial history. Many high school and university biology classes now discuss genetic inheritance. Your child realizing in the middle of class that their genetics don’t make sense with yours because of their eye or hair colour or even blood type would be the worst possible way to start this conversation.
Medically speaking, telling your child about the realities of their conception (in an age appropriate way, of course – more on that in a future post) is incredibly important. When your child grows up, they may experience things you haven’t because of their genetics are different from yours. This could be something as simple as needing glasses or braces, but no matter what it’s best that your child knows the realities of their medical history so that they can get the best possible medical care throughout the course of their life.
Psychologically, it’s best for your child to know about all of this early on – otherwise, they could be dealing with feelings of betrayal because they were not told the truth, even though you had only the best of intentions, as all parents do.
At Fertility Match, we know that you have the best intentions, hopes, and dreams for your child and your family. We understand that these are hard conversations to have, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. That’s why we encourage all of our Intended Parents to come to us with their concerns and questions about this subject. We are here to talk about these things with you!
If you’re thinking about egg donation to build your family, please contact us today to talk to one of our Fertility Consultants.
The Surrogacy journey involves more than just the Surrogate and Intended Parents. Surrogacy is a family journey and it involves all those that are dearest to you. There are elements of the Surrogacy experience that can impact their lives and the concept of Surrogacy may be new to them. Partners and surrounding family and friends may have questions and concerns when they hear about your decision to explore Surrogacy. Their responses may surprise you – it may be confusing for them to first understand this life changing journey you have generously chosen to embark on.
At Fertility Match, we can help educate your friends, family, and/or spouse to ensure that you have a wonderful Surrogacy journey. Our Surrogacy Personal Support Program is run by Mike Casselman, husband of Fertility Match Co-Founder and 2x Surrogate Lisa Casselman. We truly believe that the best resource for the supports of our Surrogates is someone who has firsthand experience supporting a Surrogate.
Surrogacy is not a journey you embark on alone. It will set a wonderful example for your children, inspire your spouse with your selflessness, and have a lifelong impact on your loved ones. Mike will sit down with your support(s) to discuss what is involved in supporting a Surrogate, and answer any questions they may have about Surrogacy. During the journey, he is also available to speak to them if any concerns arise.
In Mike’s words: “My goal is to make sure anyone in the role of support for a Surrogate in our program understands just how important their role is and how much a part of the journey and story they are. I understand this from a partner point of view and can guide a Surrogates’ support system through the journey, answering questions at every stage.”
Reach out to us today to learn more about our Surrogacy program and how you can make families a reality for deserving people.
Read about Co-Founder and 2x Surrogate Lisa’s first experience at a fertility clinic.
I was completely caught off guard the first time I walked into a fertility clinic for cycle monitoring. My thoughts were that I would be walking into an empty, quiet waiting room where a lab tech was waiting for my arrival. I was extremely short sighted.
I did walk into a very quiet waiting room — eerily so. The waiting room was completely packed. Couples holding each other’s hands, individuals trying to look occupied by their phone or an old issue of Canadian Living Magazine. I was frozen where I stood, looking around, processing what I was seeing. These people were here because of the struggle with infertility.
I knew and understood that infertility was an issue. I was a Surrogate, matched with a couple who at the time were 8 years into their journey to a child.
So, if I knew about this, why was I stranded in a crowded waiting room so surprised? Truthfully, I didn’t fully understand how many people infertility affected. 1 in 6 couples. That’s a sobering statistic. Why didn’t I know? Simply, the stigma that surrounds it.
The reality of those all those people at the clinic with infertility, is that they were not alone. The stigma of being labelled as infertile is not something anyone wants. While there should be no shame in having difficulties conceiving it is still experienced because infertility has only recently become a topic discussed in the news or social media.
The only way to reduce the stigma attached to infertility is to encourage the conversation and to support those who are facing difficulties conceiving.
As I started writing this blog I wondered, do I have the right to have an opinion about infertility? After all, I’m one of those women who conceived without issue. So easily, that I carried babies for others. No one struggling with infertility wants to hear from me and how easy I had it.
I considered that if the stigma around infertility needs to change, then maybe those of us who don’t struggle should make the first move to be the change. We can choose to be advocates for others. We can help to change laws for fertility treatments and financial compensation for surrogates or decide to be surrogates or egg donors. We can do more simple things as well. We can stop asking friends or family those dreaded questions “When are you going to start a family?” Or “Do you not want kids?”
All in all, infertility is a topic that shouldn’t be swept under the rug, but rather, one that we should all be aware of. Let’s work on educating ourselves and our society on the prevalence and challenges that couples and individuals go through while trying to build a family. The struggles that individuals and families face regarding infertility should be part of a journey to other ways of creating life. We hope that at Fertility Match, we can create the necessary stepping stones to destigmatize infertility, and create a discussion about third party reproduction.
Our dream at Fertlity Match is to connect couples and individuals in finding the right Surrogate or Egg Donor, and to make families a reality. Choose Fertility Match as your Fertility Consulting Agency, and we promise to make your journey to building a family a wonderful and positive experience.
Third party reproduction has come a long way, and with science we are now able to help make dreams of a family a reality for many hopeful individuals and couples. At Fertility Match, we work only with Gestational Surrogacy which is the most common form of Surrogacy in Canada.
Gestational Surrogates are not genetically related to the child. The Intended Mother, or Egg Donor, undergoes an egg retrieval. Her eggs are then fertilized with the Intended Father’s sperm, or the sperm from a donor. The fertilized egg becomes an embryo. The Gestational Surrogate then undergoes the embryo transfer.
Comparatively, a traditional Surrogate would conceive through artificial insemination using the Intended Father or sperm donor’s sperm. The child born from a traditional Surrogate would be genetically related to her.
Gestational Surrogacy provides a wonderful experience for all parties involved. The Surrogates at Fertility Match truly want to see their Intended Parent(s) build a family.
Are you being drawn to giving life’s greatest gift? Do you want to help someone in need? Contact us for information on becoming a Surrogate, and be a part of a community of support and love.
At Fertility Match, our first priority is to make the Surrogacy journey the best it can be for all parties involved. The advantage of working with Fertility Match is that we select only the best Intended Parents for our Surrogates to work with. We work with only Canadian Intended Parents who intend on raising Canadian children. Our Co-founder Lisa has been there as a 2x Surrogate, and works to select only the Intended Parents with the same qualities that she would expect of a couple she chose to work with.
Every woman has different reasons and motivations for pursuing Surrogacy. We give our Surrogates the choice of who they would like to work with. We have wonderful couples with different backgrounds, sexual orientation, marital status, and reasons for requiring Surrogacy. Whether you are looking to work specifically with a cancer survivor or a same sex couple, we have excellent Canadian Intended Parents for you to work with.
Oftentimes, Intended Parents experience a difficult journey over the span of years while they are trying to conceive. The anticipation and heartbreak are just some of many stages of the infertility journey that they endure. Unfortunately, Surrogacy is not their Plan A, but it can sometimes be the only option for many families and individuals. More importantly, because of their challenging experiences, Intended Parents are adamant about putting all the effort they can into their fertility journey – giving the Surrogate all the help and support necessary.
At Fertility Match, we carefully select Intended Parents looking for a wonderful woman that will be a part of their journey to build a family. The expected care and effort from both Surrogates and Intended Parents is part of the matching process. We make sure that the Intended Parents we accept into our program have a wonderful support system, with family and friends that are supportive of their challenges and choice to pursue Surrogacy.
By selecting Fertility Match as your Fertility Consulting Agency for Surrogacy, we can promise that our Intended Parents are those who value our approach and have the personal desire to make their Surrogacy journey a positive and successful experience. Contact us today and speak to one of our Fertility Consultants to learn more about the Surrogacy process.