At Fertility Match, we believe that infertility is nothing to be ashamed of – wanting to talk about it to the people you love is amazing! And when someone tells you they’re dealing with infertility, we know that sometimes it’s difficult to know what to say. However, there are some things that are better to avoid saying to someone who’s just told you they are dealing with infertility.
- But you’re so young!
Just because someone is young doesn’t mean they can’t be struggling with infertility. Premature ovarian insufficiency or failure can occur in women as young as their teens, and is a significant factor causing infertility. Women under 35 are typically advised to look into fertility testing if they have been trying to conceive without success for just one year!
- Why not just adopt?
Adoption is a huge, complicated decision – there’s no “just” about it! Not only is it likely someone struggling with infertility has considered adoption, some couples may not be eligible to adopt. There are strict requirements, and just because someone may not meet them does not mean they wouldn’t be wonderful parents.
- But you already have a child!
Secondary infertility, which is the inability to complete a pregnancy after a successful birth, can occur in up to 15% of people. That is a similar percentage to the general population of infertile people. Having one child doesn’t take away from the feeling of wanting to complete a family!
- Just relax! Stop stressing!
While this is good advice in general, it is unfortunately not good advice for infertility. Stress does not have a significant influence when someone is dealing with medical issues causing infertility, but people tend to hear this over and over.
- Who’s having the issue?
Female factor infertility, male factor infertility, and both partners having fertility issues each make up about 1/3 of infertility cases. But when someone comes to you and talks about their infertility, let them lead the conversation! Questions like this are just invasive.
A friend or family member opening up to you about their infertility can be confusing; you feel for them, but it’s hard to know what to say. And that’s ok! Just be supportive and understanding, and you’ll be able to help your loved ones in their time of need.