It’s a question we do get asked often: should I tell my child they were conceived with a donor egg? The short answer: yes. At Fertility Match, we strongly believe that you should always tell your child that they were conceived through egg donation. There are so many reasons – medical, ethical, logical, and practical – that you should tell your child the truth. We’ll cover a few in this post, but one of our Fertility Consultants is always available to chat in depth.
Honestly, one of the biggest reasons to tell your child about the realities of their conceptions is really simple: it’s inevitably going to come out anyways. With services like ancestry.ca and 23andMe, more and more people are releasing their DNA information to the world and finding genetic relatives they never knew – or were never told – they had. In the past, it was possible to keep adoptions and family histories secret enough that no one would ask questions, but with technology today that just isn’t realistic.
Not only do these services now exist, sometimes there are activities in school that might address your child’s familial history. Many high school and university biology classes now discuss genetic inheritance. Your child realizing in the middle of class that their genetics don’t make sense with yours because of their eye or hair colour or even blood type would be the worst possible way to start this conversation.
Medically speaking, telling your child about the realities of their conception (in an age appropriate way, of course – more on that in a future post) is incredibly important. When your child grows up, they may experience things you haven’t because of their genetics are different from yours. This could be something as simple as needing glasses or braces, but no matter what it’s best that your child knows the realities of their medical history so that they can get the best possible medical care throughout the course of their life.
Psychologically, it’s best for your child to know about all of this early on – otherwise, they could be dealing with feelings of betrayal because they were not told the truth, even though you had only the best of intentions, as all parents do.
At Fertility Match, we know that you have the best intentions, hopes, and dreams for your child and your family. We understand that these are hard conversations to have, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. That’s why we encourage all of our Intended Parents to come to us with their concerns and questions about this subject. We are here to talk about these things with you!
If you’re thinking about egg donation to build your family, please contact us today to talk to one of our Fertility Consultants.
Fertility Match Canada wants to change what people should expect from an Egg Donation and Surrogacy Agency in Canada. We pride ourselves on bringing a new standard of care to all of our clients – and our Egg Donor Program is no exception to this. We offer a unique, compassionate, personal approach to the journey of egg donation that allows us to make the experience a positive one for you and the Intended Parents who select you as their Donor.
It is our responsibility as an Agency to to ensure the Egg Donors in our program are supported through every step of this journey. One of the first things we tell Donors we accept into our program is that they’re now part of the Fertility Match family and we are here for them through every stage of the process.
Fertility Match Egg Donors are incredible, kind, intelligent young women who want to help someone build their family and happiness. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience; we hear great things from all of our Donors about their donations.
Here’s what our Donors have to say about the Fertility Match difference:
“I was scared to be left alone on this journey, but Liz was always just a phone call away, and just like my own mother she checked on me before and after my appointments. I couldn’t have asked for more from her.”
“My egg donation journey has been amazing. Every minor and major issue was dealt with, and it was made sure that there was no discomfort experienced by me.”
“I would recommend Fertility Match to all my friends interested in being Egg Donors. There is no other place that could make you feel good about yourself and appreciate what you are doing. I even asked my own sister to be an Egg Donor for Fertility Match.”
Is egg donation with Fertility Match right for you? Contact us today to find out – there are no obligations or costs to speak with one of our consultants.
Ten Steps to Donating Eggs in Canada
Ready to donate your eggs but not sure what to expect? At Fertility Match, we help demystify the process for Donating Eggs in Canada with our 3 part series on the egg donation process. First, let’s take a look at what Egg Donors should expect overall from beginning to end.
1. Initial Assessment: After contacting us at firstname.lastname@example.org an initial assessment will then be conducted by a Fertility Match Program Coordinator. This could take place in person or over the phone. This initial assessment for is to ensure that you are the right fit for the program
2. Online Application: An online application will then be sent to you if the initial assessment is successful.
3. Overview Call: Following a successful application, we will schedule an overview call. During this call, the process for Donating Eggs in Canada will be covered in further detail and any issues or questions will be addressed.
4. Match with Intended Parent(s): At this point your profile will be created and you will be matched with a waiting Intended Parent.
5. Psychosocial Evaluation: The Psychosocial evaluation is the next step in the process for Donating Eggs in Canada. This can be done over the phone.
6. Physician Appointment: You will meet with a Physician once you have been matched. They will explain the medical protocol, do a physical exam and blood tests.
7. Independent Legal Representation: Independent legal representation will then be provided for you to go over all the points in the contract and to ensure that you feel knowledgeable and comfortable moving forward. The Intended Parent will pay all legal fees incurred by their Egg Donor.
8. Donor Cycle: The donor cycle usually then begins after your next menstrual period. Approximately 21 days after your period you will start a series of medications, which you will take until just before the egg retrieval. While taking these medications you will visit a fertility center to monitor your progress and to ensure that your ovaries are responding to the medication. These appointments may take place daily or every other day for a short period of time and the appointments do not last long.
9. Egg Retrieval: You are then ready for Egg Retrieval. The Egg Retrieval appointment is usually 3 hours in length, as it requires twilight sedation. This does not result in the person becoming unconscious but will sedate them so you should ensure you have a safe way home. The physician then uses a vaginal ultrasound probe to guide a small needle through the vaginal wall to reach the ovaries and retrieve the mature eggs.
10. Post Procedure: Following the procedure you may experience some fatigue or cramping and so should plan to spend the remainder of the day at home. The following day you should be able to resume light to normal activities but should refrain from any strenuous physical activity until the physician gives you clearance.
If you have any questions about Donating Eggs in Canada or are interested in becoming an Egg Donor and want to help couples seeking to make their dreams of a family a reality please contact us at email@example.com or through our contact form. Be sure to like us on Facebook and check back for the next two parts in our Egg Donation in Canada series.
Are you Eligible to be an Egg Donor?
Fertility Match seeks to ensure that all of our prospective Egg Donors meet the expectations of the Intended Parents. Additionally, the health and safety of the Egg Donor is of the utmost priority and therefore, in order to become an Egg Donor for Fertility Match, there are several requirements you must meet:
- Be Canadian Citizen and currently living in Canada
- Have active provincial health insurance
- Be between the ages of 21 and 32
- Be a non smoker and not use recreational drugs
- Be willing to undergo a police background check
- Have not gotten tattoos or piercings in the last six months
- Have not travelled to ZIKA infected areas in the last two months
- Be in good health and have regular menstrual cycles
- Not have any significant genetic or hereditary illnesses
- Be willing to undergo psychological and medical assessments and willing to provide medical history
- Sexual partners will need to undergo infectious disease screening at a fertility centre or local blood lab
- Have no serious history of psychological issues
- Have a healthy weight to height proportion preferably with a BMI under 35
- Be willing to travel to the closest fertility clinic, lawyer and doctor appointments
- Be willing to travel to the fertility clinic used by the intended parents for the egg retrieval
- Be willing to take fertility medications and injections
- Not have had more than five previous egg retrieval cycles
Though this list may seem long each of these requirements is put in place to ensure the best outcomes and experiences for everyone involved in the process. If you have any questions about Egg Donation in Canada or the reimbursable expenses contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out our contact form.
Egg Donation in Canada: What is Legal?
Egg Donation is legal in Canada but there are some restrictions. The main one being that Egg Donors cannot be directly compensated for their donation. Canadian legislation allows only for altruistic Egg Donation; women donate their eggs because they want to help couples struggling with infertility. These women are then reimbursed for the expenses related to their donation. Expenses that you would incur regardless of the donation such as your rent and car insurance are not reimbursable but reimbursable expenses can include:
- Groceries and prepared food (ex. grocery receipts leading up to, during and after the donation, meals, beverages)
- Gym/fitness memberships
- Note taking for missed classes
- Child or pet care
- Massage, chiropractic, and foot care
- Travel related to medical appointments
- Lost wages
If you decide to become an Egg Donor the reimbursable expenses will be outlined in your legal contract. Each Fertility Match Donor is provided with independent legal counsel to ensure that they are fully aware of the benefits of Egg Donation and the commitment required.
If you have any questions about Egg Donation in Canada or the reimbursable expenses contact us at email@example.com or fill out our contact page.
Becoming a Surrogate Mother is a very personal choice. The reasons why a woman chooses to be a Surrogate Mother vary. I chose to be a Surrogate Mother to help another woman who couldn’t conceive become a mother. When starting out on your journey as a Surrogate Mother, take time to think about who you are meant to help. Is it a single parent, a heterosexual couple or a same sex couple?
Once you decide who are wanting to help as aSurrogate Mother, you will begin to “date” potential Intended Parents. This is a very important part of the process. Just like dating a potential romantic interest , you quickly learn what you are looking for in this relationship.
Are you looking for someone who is wanting the same amount of contact as you are? For me, this wasn’t my birth story. This story belongs to the Intended Parents I worked with and to their babies. I was just the person who was lucky enough to birth them into this world. I wanted Intended Parents who shared that outlook. My Intended Parents were at all my appointments and were in the delivery room. I also wanted to make sure that parents cut the cords of their babies as my husband and I had done for ours.
How do you feel about selective reduction or termination of pregnancy due to birth defects in the fetus? This is a very important subject and one that makes you look inward. I needed to find Intended Parents who would take any number of children that resulted from this Surrogacy. I was not in favour of selective reduction for multiples. With that being said, I felt that I could not decide what another person could live with if it was determined that the fetus had a birth defect. In that case, I was willing to terminate if the Intended Parents chose.
Intended Parents are looking for certain things when it comes to their Surrogate Mother too. They will be dating you as much as you are dating them. I have spoken to couples who said their Surrogate was to only eat organic foods, or would refrain from exercising. I even spoke with someone who said they didn’t want their Surrogate to have an epidural during birth. And while those aren’t the people I chose to work with, there is a Surrogate out there for them that will work with their choices. It’s all very personal.
The main thing for me in my journeys was the relationship I built with my Intended Parents. I did not know them ahead of time. We were complete strangers who took the time to build an honest and open friendship. I wanted to feel like we could talk about anything. My Intended Parents and I became support systems for each other through the ups and downs of fertility treatments while fulfilling their dreams to be parents.